


i'll be here (forever)

by civilcarter



Series: little more (i want you baby) [7]
Category: GOT7
Genre: Angst, Light Angst, M/M, i don't know if it's really that light, there may be a happy ending i don't know
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-01
Updated: 2017-03-01
Packaged: 2018-09-27 15:23:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 746
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10027958
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/civilcarter/pseuds/civilcarter
Summary: he's surrounded by people but he's never felt lonelier. they come and go around him while he stays still - quiet, observing and hoping anyone will spare five minutes of their precious time talking to him.





	

**Author's Note:**

> hi! i'm back here again!
> 
> i was feeling (still am, actually) like this for the past days so i decided to write about it and see if it helped a little. sorry if it's too short, but i hope you like it!

he's surrounded by people, but he's never felt lonelier. they come and go around him while he stays still - quiet, observing and hoping anyone will spare five minutes of their precious time talking to him. it's raining outside and he can smell the moist in the air, and how it makes him want to hide under his blankets and leave only when all of this is gone.

he's been feeling like this for some days now - not that it actually matters to anyone. it feels like there's this thin glass wall, keeping him apart from the world, as if suddenly he was invisible and not even the flies seemed to acknowledge his presence. he gets in places and watches silently as people discuss and don't even ask for his opinion, he gets home and no one seems to mind or care if he's fine, if he needs something.

and you know what? it fucking _hurts_.

it hurts to be invisible. it hurts to be the one no one cares about. it hurts to be the one who does so much for anyone but gets none in return. he knows he shouldn't wait things from others when he helps them - and he does what he does because he genuinely cares about each one of them, he doesn't usually think in what it can give him in return. but getting nothing, not even a simple thank you? it fucking hurts.

he's sitting at the couch by the mirrors, silent and, as usual lately, alone. he can see people walking past him - makeup noonas, hairstylists, people responsible for their clothes, and even the other band members, changing places in the chairs while getting ready for the fanmeet. and, meanwhile, the only thing he notices is how _everyone seems so worried with themselves_.

he should be like them. _fuck all this stupid need - i only need attention from myself_. but being apart from people you _love_ is something different; it's something that hurts for real, that eats your guts from the inside and corrodes whatever is still left after. it's a feeling jaebum often gets when the world doesn't remember that he exists. it's something he feels when even jackson forgets he exists.

they've been together for so long and went through so much. it makes jaebum want to cry, how much it hurts. it hurts because along with the teariness comes the thoughts he tries to push aside and focus on what he has to do, because he can't let them win. but now, when there's nothing to actually loose, they swirl and dance around his brain like they enjoy the effect they have in him.

jaebum is a complicated person. his personality is not easy to deal with - he's full of flaws and problems, complexions and issues. he's too harsh sometimes and too needy in others, he either loves something too much or hates it with every fiber of his being. he's crooked, he loves his music but despises what they do to him. he's in constant moving, constant changing. it's too fast, it's too sudden, it happens and happens and happens and sometimes it scares people away, the complexity of it. he's not proud of it - it just _happens_.

there's a huge knot in his throat that makes it ache, and his chest is constricting and causing him to lack air and get lightheaded. it's too overwhelming for him to wonder jackson leaving him because, as much as he hates to admit it, jackson is the one thing jaebum loves the most, the only one who hasn't abandoned him yet.

"hyung, is everything alright?" he hears a soft voice. his eyes shoot to his side and he sees the reason to all of his insecurities. he's there, sitting by him, with his hand over jaebum's thigh and looking at him like he's really worried. jaebum wanted to say he was fine, that everything was ok - but it wasn't. and he was so fucking tired of pretending.

he doesn't answer, because he knows his eyes can speak more than his words this time. jackson knows his hyung like the palm of his hand and, just by looking at him, he can tell what's happening. he rests his head over jaebum's shoulder, now holding his hand instead of resting it over his leg and carressing it, giving his full and endless attention to the one and only man he loves.

"don't worry, hyung. i'm here. i'll be here forever".

**Author's Note:**

> thank you so much for reading!


End file.
